We made it
I made it
Before I tell you all about how the first year went I want to write a little thank you for all my friends and family for all their unfaltering help during this last year. I thank you all, from the small (entertaining Noah for a few moments while I used the bathroom), to the big (letting me and Noah interrupt your sleep patterns and lives while we lived under your roof), and everything else in between from you lovely lovely people.
I’m going to be honest…
This past year has been hard. The hardest year I have experienced. The thing about parenthood is it really doesn’t come with a manual. The midwife doesn’t hand over your little bundle, with a step by step instruction booklet. I feel like I have completely muddled through this year. At times I felt like I was finally getting the hang of things, I had a great routine down to an art form, feeling confident and happy, and then BAM I felt like a fog had fallen over my eyes, I don’t know my up from my down, and I’m crawling around on my hands and knees trying to make sense of my little world.
On the other hand there are so many moments that make all of the tough times, the lack of sleep, the constant eau de vomit (in our case, not every baby is that bad), so unbelievably worth it.
Noah has done so well in his first year. Crawling was achieved by 8 months, but he didn’t seem too keen in progressing any further, which was totally okay with me, I was in no hurry for him to progress any quicker. Noah had other plans and very quickly went from pulling himself up on furniture and any available legs, to cruising on every surface at the right height, to taking his first steps by 11 month. Now Noah is learning how to master stairs, up and down, which means I have never been more grateful for the impenetrable stair gate, that manages to keep out children and adults. While I am only just coming to terms that I have a totally mobile child, who even runs sometimes ( well it would be a light jog for an adult, but when you are that small, its like hitting super speed), and Noah is taking it all in his stride (literally).
There is so much more of Noah’s first year that I could go over, but every minute of everyday, Noah masters something or does something that gets an emotional response from me (some of those moments do not always garner happy emotions), there are so many that it would take forever to write them down, but also these moments that are stored away are mine. Noah has started taking his own little footprint steps into the lives of others like, going to nursery and becoming more brave with friends and family, these little foot prints are the end of his absolute dependency on me, as he slowly becomes his own person, and those moments are mine to reflect on.
Today has been a hard day, it was a good day, then Noah melted into this screaming puddle of toddler for a whole evening. It makes it hard to remember what makes the day good, I was stressed close to tears trying to console Noah. Finally we made it to bedtime, and for now, he is fast asleep. I’m sitting here remembering the day, and slowly the good moments flood back in, those more recent and those that I have stored away. Noah, this afternoon, at his best friends 1st birthday and all the great interaction he has with children and adults. Signing Thank You for inviting him to the birthday party to the Hosts. Having breakfast this morning, with Noah and Roma at Harvester and how well behaved Noah was. The smaller moments, that I have squirreled away into my memory, like when he comes over to me and puts his head to my head or on my leg and says “Ahhhh” which is his hug/kiss, or when he finally mastered how to say “mam mam mam”.
I would never change this past year. Not for all the money in the world. I have a beautiful little boy. We moved into our first home, which I adore. I found my strong base of friends and family. I rekindled friendships that I know this time around will last a lifetime. These things are what I (try) to remember when Noah is taking me to the edge of total madness, before pulling me back from the edge with his unprompted laughter, or a head butt kiss, or walking over to me with his most favourite book to share together.
Bring on the next year.