Fed Up

This was not what I wanted to write a blog post about. I did have a happy topic but that will have to wait now, because I have something to get off my chest.

I am fed up with people making hurtful comparisons about our babies.

I know that the mummy world is a very dog eat dog world. Everyone’s baby has to be better than everyone else’s. I’ll admit it I get things like changing bag, pushchair, baby clothes, high chair, baby crib, baby nursery envy. But I try not to compare children. This doesn’t just fall to the mummy world, everyone compares themselves to someone else. Most people see what people are “better” at and feel they are inadequate or somewhat lacking for whatever reason, which leads to the green eyed monster to rear it ugly head. Some people though are the opposite, they are better, no one is better, no one can achieve the perfect perfectness of their life. This is what I have experienced recently when it comes to Noah.

Noah can do sitting. I am immensely proud, and burst with joy when I see him sitting there, playing with toys. However this is not enough for people.

“Why isn’t he crawling? My child crawled at this age. He’s probably just a lazy boy.”

“Is he pulling himself up on objects yet? Can he stand? If he doesn’t learn soon he’ll never do it.”

Noah sits.

“Is that all he has achieved?”

That is what he does. That is what my gorgeous intelligent little boy has achieved. Noah has gone from a baby that could do nothing. So fully dependent on me, and now he is finding his first independent mile stones.

I’m really pleased that your child can; crawl, stand, pull themselves up, feed themselves, run a marathon, is on their way to a Noble prize, Grammy award, Oscar, BAFTA.

But what my boy has achieved is amazing. I don’t put Noah down for not moving onto more milestones. You, definitely shouldn’t put my son down, or me for that matter. My parenting is not bad, your parenting is not perfect. Why are we already asking so much of our precious children? Children learn in their own time at their own pace. You and me will not force them, and if you try it usually has a reverse affect. I tried to introduce Noah to finger foods. I was so unsuccessful at first because I kept offering him the food, kept trying to get him to eat it while I held it. So I changed my tactics, I placed a few objects on his high chair tray, and left him too it. Noah ate every single piece of finger food on that tray.

I don’t want Noah to grow up learning to compare himself on others, to find failure in himself from such a young age. I want Noah to learn that if he works hard and tries, then whatever he has achieved is great. I know that when he is older he will fall into the comparison trap, when he is more aware of the world around him. Sometimes this is good, people push themselves and can sometimes achieve great things. Some people though fall into depression, because they feel they are never good enough.

So in short I am fed up of people already putting demands on my child. Every child is amazing, whatever age, whatever stage. As parents we should support and encourage each other’s children, as well as our own, so they are willing to learn. That is what I want to do as a parent. I love seeing other parent’s children hit milestones, I know the feeling of pride and elation that comes with that, and love that they get to experience it too.

Our little babies have achieved so much already, why rush them to grow. I, for one, will enjoy my child staying in place for a little longer, still being there when I turn away, and not half way across the room, pulling out my entire DVD, magazine, priceless figurine, collections.

So let’s all take a breath, and calm down a bit, which is exactly what I’m going to do now I’ve got that off my chest.

Taking A Time Out

Hello my name is Amy, and I’m social media addict. I know it’s bad for me, mentally and physically but I just can’t help myself, it’s just too easy to access.

In a time before Motherhood, I signed up to several different social media platforms. Over a few years, as the Internet evolved, and way social media changed, I joined more sites. 

Things changed from ways to communicate with friends after school, to a way to share my daily life in different forms; photographs, video, “status updates” to name a few. I became one of these people who found it difficult to step away from the Internet. The harmless way to stay connected with friends new and old, had become a habit. I was on the platforms everyday, and very soon I was suffering from FOMO (fear of missing out)

Seeing what people were up to made me feel inadequate, I felt like I had to be better. I had to share more, become a more interesting person. I had become the kind of person that people wanted to ask out, someone to do things with, so I wouldn’t miss out and I could share it with all my friends. 

If I’m honest it really took Noah making his surprise appearance in my life to really take a step back.  Now some of you are saying but you are blogging, and want to move onto vlogging, and are still very active on social media sites. While this is true, I really have had to take a step back from social media. Being a mum means some days I find just about enough time to spend five minutes being able to brush my teeth, wash my face and pull a brush through my hair. Let alone spend hours trawling through different social media platforms. 

Then the other day I read a blog post, by beauty and mothering blogger Hannah Maggs (link to the post is at the end), about the challenge her and her husband had set upon themselves, to have a internet and communication technology “Blackout”. After reading it I felt inspired, and ready to take on the challenge of not using my phone, the television, or any social media platform from the time Noah went to bed, till the time we got up. The only exception being watching movies, Hannah and Stef allowed themselves to watch box sets, but as I have a self confessed Netflix addiction I felt this would defeat the object of a blackout. 

As I settled Noah down to sleep I felt a sense of impending doom, how would I cope? My highest use of social media is after Noah has gone down to bed, or for a nap, but I had my mind set on succeeding so I started my internet free evening.

How refreshing it was, not only did I managed to get loads of housework completed, but I cooked myself dinner, and actually sat down and managed to finish a book. I slept so much better that night (when Noah wasn’t waking me up!), I felt like I had really wound down and distressed from the day, I also felt like I had really taken some time for myself. I think the other bonus for everyone else is they weren’t bombarded with photos of my dinner, my relaxing position on the sofa, the scrummy hot chocolate I relaxed with, several updates on how dinner was going, how well I ploughed through the housework, the list goes on.

I would definitely recommend to anyone who feels like the day just gets on top of them, those who feel too overwhelmed to settle down for sleep properly, to try having an evening of switching off. Honestly the benefits well outweigh the negatives, so I will be making this a regular part of my week, without a doubt.

Hannah Maggs blog post: http://www.hannahmaggs.co.uk/blackout/

Feautred image: http://www.ninjamarketing.it/2012/10/16/che-tipo-di-social-media-addict-sei-infografica/


It has been such a long time since I last wrote a post.

Too Long…

Let’s try again then.

So there has been a major change since my last bog post. I am no longer 40 weeks pregnant (hallelujah) I am mother to one completely scrummy boy.

Ahhh yes I had a boy.

In my last post I was trapped in the unknown. I didn’t know what gender my little human bean was or when they would actually make an appearance.

I was 10 days overdue by the time that my little man made his entrance into the world. I had been in labour for 4 days, when all at once, baby decided he was coming out. He had passed “GO” and was not stopping.

I am happy, proud, excited, fit to burst, to finally introduce,

Noah George

Noah George
Noah George

and here he is in a more recent photograph…

Noah George
Noah George

When I was pregnant I thought I knew what love was, I thought I already loved the small person, who I was giving life to.

Nothing in this world could have prepared me for the, knock me flying off my feet, rush of love that I experienced when I first got to meet my little boy.

It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced.

I am also blown off my feet by how much Noah amazes me. I thought seeing the same person, day in and day out, would mean that the magic would go. It would become “normal”. That things would cease to amaze and day to day life would slowly take over from the rush of love, pull me out of the baby haze that I found myself in.

This little person has gone from being this helpless infant, to a small person who can sit by himself, eat “real” foods. Noah has emotions, and can communicate those feelings with me. There is laughter, tears, chatting, playing.

No day is ever the same.

I am so looking forward to seeing what the future holds, what will Noah achieve? Who will he become?

Not to wish his life away of course, I’m just curious, because as a parent I know that the answer to those questions falls partially on me. I know that we choose our own paths, though we are sometimes swayed by our peers. Noah’s life is started by me, I put the building blocks in place, to help Noah make ” good” choices, choose a path that is fulfilling, and gives his life purpose, whatever he feels his purpose is. For the first part of his life the way I parent, and the person I teach him to be, is who he is. That is a scary thought. The choices I make even now, the things I teach Noah, may impact on his life, they may stick with him forever. That is a terrifying responsibility.

But for now I will concentrate on the present.

Make every moment count and cherish Noah everyday.

Noah and Mummy
Noah and Mummy

I won’t promise to become a regular blog publisher, but I am going to try harder, I am also going to work on getting my YouTube page up and running. These things I want to put in place so that Noah has something to look back on, as well as the photo albums filled with hundreds of photos (and that is just from when he was born to a week old!).

Well I hope all these platforms are still in place when Noah is older!