Oh blimey. I have made it to 36 weeks. Which leaves only four weeks to go. Well that is if baby doesn’t decide he or she has had enough and wants out.
It absolutely boggles my mind, how quickly the last four weeks have gone. When I reached 32 weeks I had a little celebration, because I have done better at being pregnant than I was as an impatient baby bump. But it seems like last week I was having this celebration, rather than a whole month ago!
Things are starting to fall into place, and even though my nerves and stress levels have been all over the place, which probably hasn’t been pleasant for a lot of people, I am able to calm down and know that if baby came now I would be prepared. The hospital bags have been packed for a few weeks now, and I keep packing and re-packing them, even though the very detailed checklist shows me nothing is missing, but it passes the time since I left work.
I never thought I would say it, but I miss work. I miss the structure and routine of going to work, and I’ve tried to keep some sort of structure in my days so I don’t completely fall out of a routine before baby comes along, but it’s been difficult. I get tired throughout the day even though I don’t do much, so I have a nap every now and again. Something I definitely couldn’t have done in a 12 hour shift at Gatwick. I saw my midwife this week and she did a little happy dance of joy, she didn’t like the hours I was working or the shift pattern, but I felt comfortable enough to continue so why not? I suppose she had my best interests at heart, but I didn’t feel the need to give up work. My maternity leave officially began on the 20th of September, and I only left at the end of August because I had leave to take, I was told to either use it, or lose it. So I took advantage!
I also miss the people I worked with massively, I miss the banter that happened everyday. I miss the drama (well most of it!). I also just miss Gatwick as a place. I very always been fascinated by the airport, and I love working within it, knowing how it works, and seeing how everyone’s different role keeps Gatwick going, but let’s keep my Gatwick geek side between us!
I do have a confession to make. I feel like a fraud. I have been going to antenatal classes, which were good, I would listen to all the other mums to be with their complaints, and I decided I am really lucky. I had a tough time at the beginning of the pregnancy, with morning sickness and a couple of funny turns which resulted in trips to hospital. However I have had it pretty easy since those little humps at the beginning. Okay apart from my ankles swelling, and my hands now joining them, which means I can’t wear any of my rings anymore (majorly upset about that fact, it’s not just pre-pregnancy clothing I’ve got to get back into, but jewellery as well!), and pretty relentless heartburn, which even my super strong Gaviscon doesn’t really have any effect on anymore, it’s quite painful and I feel like a human volcano ( just call me Eyjafjallajökull!), mostly because of my size and I feel like an eruption waiting to happen every time I get heartburn.
Even with those lovely pregnancy side effects, I feel lucky, mostly because people just say how well I look. Now I am not the most accepting of compliments. I am quick to come up with an excuse why the complimentor is wrong or “You’ve just caught me on a good day“, or the go to “I’m glowing? No it’s just make up!“. But even with all those handy excuses up my sleeve, I have had to come to the admission, that I look good. I don’t always feel it, but apparently I look it. I decided I would start believing people because of the look of astonishment that accompanies a compliment. People are quite good at telling white lies to make someone feel better, but usually the truth is written all over their faces.
Another reason I feel lucky is I still get eight to nine HOURS of pretty much unbroken sleep! The women I went to the antenatal classes with seemed to be surviving off regular naps, waking up numerous times in the night, and feeling generally unable to have a comfortable nights sleep. I would stand there making fraudulent noises of agreement, making a pact with myself to never let that secret out. I feel lucky, and you can trust when I say that I am taking full advantage of all the hours sleep I am getting at the moment, especially as I know it will change very soon…